I don’t dress Emo or hide my face with my hair. I laugh and smile all the time in front of people and i try to make them laugh. But inside, i’m always depressed. If it’s not about my short stature, then it’s about my heavy weight. sometimes i feel just plain old ugly. Ever since i was four years old, i always thought i was ugly. I always thought my dad hated me and i was scared of him. He always told me as a toddler that he loves my sister more than me because it’s traditional. She’s younger. My sister is also naturally skinny. i’m fat. ever since age 9, i was on and off diets. and i don’t let myself touch junk food. and then… at age 11…. i hit puberty early and i stopped growing taller at 12. I’m now a wee little person stuck in a wee little small school because no other schools would take me. My self esteem is just so low and i’m sick and tired of being depressed. Everytime i try not to be, someting bad happens. like today, my swim coach said "there’s a lot you cant do" and
he sent me the shallow end. i’ve been on the swim team for three years because someone told me that swimming makes you grow. on top of that, i binge when i’m depressed. i try to numb my feelings. and other times, i keep telling myself "i need to eat this to grow taller" sometimes i cry and eat at the same time. then i gain weight and i feel even worse. this just gets so old! no body knows how i feel except for my little sister who always to comfort me. she’s the most important thing in my life. i think if it wasn’t for her i would have suicide already. i don’t want to compare myself with her but people do it all the time. she’s taller, smarter and skinnier. i hate myself. should i take anti- depressants and should i let anyone know? am i normal? am i emo?

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Filed under: Grow Taller Naturally