You might benefit from talking things over with someone who has no dog in your hunt — a counselor, not a psychiatrist. They’re generally good at listening and figuring things out objectively. Also they’re cheaper.

You might also think about something the Buddha advised. He was a very practical man. He felt there were two principles that should serve as guidelines throughout our life.

(1) Do everything in moderation because in the end you always have to pay for excess one way or another. We should even be VIRTUOUS in moderation.

(2) Don’t get too attached to any one person or any one thing (like being exactly the right weight, height, appearance, and age) because eventually you’re going to lose it, just like the rest of us.

I don’t know you and can’t really give any personal advice, but I do think that your beginning college is an excellent thing for you to do.