I feel so FAT, and I Absolutely hate myself! I think I have a problem!!!! Please, I need HELP!?
Ok, when I was very young, I developed an unhealthy relationship with food. Meaning I LOVED it, and could never get enough. On top of that I have always been a picky eater, and loved ice cream and fast food. So naturally that caught up with me and I got fat. I didn’t even realize I was. I looked in the mirror and never saw a fat person, just not a thin one. But it showed in all of my pictures, and I became VERY self-conscious. I had always been a very out going person, and then I went through my fat stage, where I cried when I ate food, but I still couldn’t stop. This was all when I was in 5th grade. Thankfully, the summer after, I went on a diet, and lost 20 lbs all by myself! I felt happier, healthier, but I still wasn’t thin…..and my self esteem was shot, and I became very shy around new people.
I went back to eating like a fairly normal person, and as I grew taller I gained that weight with me, but I still am not thin.
And the worst part, is that I was surrounded by people who were skinnier then me. All my friends are tall and naturally thin. (Like a model.) and my brother is always making fun of me. So I played around with diets, eating healthier, and exercising, but I always went back to normal.
Then one day I liked this guy. And I knew he wouldn’t like me. I wasn’t pretty enough, or skinny enough for him. And so when I was around him I was always nervous, and VERY self conscious. And one day he called me ugly. He was sarcastic, and joking, I knew, but it hurt…and I decided that I would impress him, and all my skinny friends, so I started eating less and less.
Yesterday, this is what I ate:
Breakfast: Special K 90 cal. bar
Lunch: PB & J French Toast Sand. (Rachael Ray Recipe)
Snack: Handful of Trail Mix
and that is it, and I have been eating like that for about a month now…and everyday its easier to eat less, and now I’m getting worried I have a problem. I never crave food anymore (unless it’s just sitting there right infront of me) and every time I eat something, all I think about is how fat I am….
I think about anorexia everyday…I feel worried by not eating, but I feel terrible when I do…
I know I’m a normal weight, I checked my BMI and I’m healthy…I’m 5’2”-5’3” and 112-115 lbs….and I am 13 years old…
Tagged with: amp • brother • cal bar • diet • diets • fast food • fat person • french toast • handful • lunch • mirror • picky eater • rachael ray • self esteem • snack • somethin • special k • unhealthy relationship
Filed under: Grow Taller Naturally
Susan Yarrawonga (280)
you might have body dysmorphia. it’s when you feel fat or think you are fat, or see your body in a different way than it really is. i understand your problem completely. find a friend or someone you can talk to. your weight is perfectly normal, though. so as long as you stay healthy, you really won’t have anything to worry about. and if you become anorexic, your metabolism will get all messed up, and it could do a lot of damage to your body.
if you can, try talking to a counselor or someone to help you. if you want, you can email me.
danni65432@yahoo.com
best of luck. [:
i know this will be reaaly hard and take alot of courage. but you must be mature and speek to an adult about it. if u cannot confide in a family member, try someone else. try to stop this before it gets worse
you don’t care about being healthy as much as looking "skinny" and impressing others. Looking better is a plus but you can’t become anorexic over that thought. I suggest you eat whatever the hell you want as long as you exercise. You should get help from a friend or family member. Good luck